Maybe it wasn't much of a job, but shelton didn't know any life other than inflating soccer balls.
Line written by: Pasquale Di Buttsa
Posted on: June 14, 2004
Inflating them inflated his ego, and it was an important job! Afterall, what good is a flat soccer ball?
Line written by: Darryl Ect
Posted on: June 15, 2004
To shelton's chagrin, this question spawned a contest to find uses for flat soccer balls. Soon
Line written by: R. U. Kidding
Posted on: June 15, 2004
thereafter a popular use was discovered. One of the local 3rd graders, Skippy Bubledoo, suggested using
Line written by: Myron Zkeapmee-Ondakanalday
Posted on: June 17, 2004
old oatmeal in it it's place, which would work much more efficiently and would last forever!
Line written by: Attila the Bun
Posted on: June 17, 2004
Sadly, Shelton had eaten all of the oatmeal they were to use. And so, Skippy suggested that they
Line written by: Mindy U. Owen Bisnusse
Posted on: June 18, 2004
form a rock band called the Fat Flat Balls instead. shelton was to front the group, singing
Line written by: Sam Oldgrind
Posted on: June 18, 2004
and playing the electric-bell-gazoo-bag-pipes, an instrument of his own invention. His best song was
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: June 21, 2004
"At the Ball" in B-flat. But the title always made him cry because
Line written by: Mel Odious
Posted on: June 21, 2004
he had to blow harder when he reached the chorus which went like this: "At the ball
Line written by: A. Kimbo
Posted on: June 22, 2004
field, where I sold hotdogs in a former life, I coincidentally also met my wife." His wife inflated
Line written by: John Key
Posted on: June 22, 2004
Wonder Bras, using the best of materials, for example
Line written by: Sam I. Yamm
Posted on: June 22, 2004
moose down made for a very natural look and feel. The taste however
Line written by: Phil Lovitt
Posted on: June 28, 2004
left something to be desired: an unsavory mix of molasses and the same, without the "mol." Can you dig?
Line written by: Wendy U. Planon-Bathing
Posted on: June 28, 2004
Meanwhile, shelton was in despair. There were no balls to inflate and
Line written by: Sam Bodycuthecheese
Posted on: July 1, 2004
his underwear was 2 sizes too small. So Shelton decided to have a shot at a new career: underwater
Line written by: Al A. Baster
Posted on: July 7, 2004
electronics inventions. However, this too was short lived when
Line written by: Ben Dit
Posted on: July 7, 2004
Sheldon filled the soccer balls with nitrous oxide.
Line written by: Claire Voyant
Posted on: July 9, 2004
Unfortunetly, the gas had no effect on the science teacher, Mr. Rieder.
Line written by: Attila the Bun
Posted on: July 12, 2004
This was due to his having riuned his nasal passages by excessive use of
Line written by: Lee Ward-Leaning
Posted on: July 13, 2004
garden sheers to trim his nostril hair. In fact he didn't have nostrils or a nose at all anymore.
Line written by: Bo Geemann
Posted on: July 14, 2004
Just two glazed donuts affixed to the spot, which he kept having to replace on account of eating them.
Line written by: Ives Scott Tupooreelbad
Posted on: July 15, 2004
He ate so many donuts that it began to look as if he were pregnant. The media caught wind and reported
Line written by: Vick Torreous
Posted on: July 15, 2004
a massive shortage of creme filling...until Sheldon puked half-digested donuts everywhere. Oh the horror.
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: August 4, 2004
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Six forty five am glowed in the dark of Dean’s forth floor walk-up apartment. The middle-aged man’s eyes opened to discover patterns of light on the ceiling. Thoughtlessly, the mechanisms of the body started their traditions faithfully, heading to th... more
Which bites off pieces of Dean’s new breakfast habits and life changes.
Download a print version of Chapter 3 (MS Word format)
Six forty five am glowed in the dark of Dean’s forth floor walk-up apartment. The middle-aged man’s eyes opened to discover patterns of light on the ceiling. Thoughtlessly, the mechanisms of the body started their traditions faithfully, heading to th... more
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379 archived storiesA Random Story From the 2004 Archives
shelton
Sheldon loses his job as a soccer ball inflator, gets married to the Wonder Bra woman, and pukes donut-filling all over everything.
Started on June 14, 2004 and archived on
August 4, 2004
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